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A Few Things I Know For Sure

With John Patrick Adams
Monday, October 30, 2017 6:25 PM

The Scariest Movie I've Ever Seen!!!

By: John Patrick Adams

The scariest movie I’ve ever seen is the movie of my life…  You know how when you have to take inventory of yourself?  Pull out the skeletons??? Remove the mask covering all the unhealed and open wounds?  Well it’s true, I was a film walking around filled with dark secrets, tales and twist… A movie in which ghost of the past daily haunted me…  And lastly, a movie in which I found myself in the center of a room panicking about my fear of the unknown…  But here’s a secret for you…  For years I was afraid of being alone…  I can remember jumping from one relationship to the next…  Never allowing myself proper time to heal, so I carried around all these unresolved issues, scars, and insecurities…

Like many of you reading, I was afraid of dealing with the real problem, which was ME…  I didn’t realize the reason I was hopping from one relationship to the next was because there was something I was missing that no one else could give me…  I wanted to love, didn’t want to deal with the residue of hurt left from the last relationship…  I was longing for a physical touch, but truly needed an emotional and mental touch…  I didn’t want to face the truth that I was broken, hurt behind a relationship, nor did I feel I was strong enough to conquer the fear of loneliness….  So like many of you, I rebound…

I found myself dating just to be dating…  Wasn’t finding love, but I was in love with the idea of a relationship, so I constantly pursued relationships that only tarnished me more…   At my core, I’m a relationship guy…  I’m my best in relationships, but I’m also my worst in relationships…  I’m the happiest in relationships, but I’m also the most miserable in relationships, at least I was then…  I WAS YOU…  All my friends were in a relationship, so I had to be in a relationship…  My family was expecting me to be married by a certain age, so I constantly pursued relationships…  I was aging, so I felt I had to hurry up and jump into any relationships for the fear of being alone…. Just like you, I fell for the lie, “The best way to get over someone is to be on top or under someone”…  I didn’t want to deal with the past, but the past was messing up my future…  Like I said earlier, I was a scary movie walking around…  I was the walking dead trying to disguise myself as being a healthy emotionally, mentally, and spiritually person…

What I know for sure is…  A relationship won’t fix your emptiness, it will just prolong the realization you’re empty…No matter how many attempts you make to fill a void, you will forever feel empty until you fill it with what’s supposed to be there…  

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