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With Nikki Jackson
Sunday, February 03, 2019 9:48 PM

8 Mistakes Men Make When Dating

By: Nikki Jackson

1. Trying to act too nonchalant.
If you’re trying really hard to come off as carefree, you might seem like you don’t care, and she’ll wonder why she’s spending time with you. I know you fellas don't want to come off as "thirsty", so you have to find the balance. Show confidence, but make it clear that you’re interested in her and invested in the date.

2. Spending too much time on your phone.
Phones are basically part of our bodies at this point, and yes, a lot of dating starts with the help of apps and texting. But sometimes you men forget to put down your phone when it comes time for date night.

3. Not planning something interesting.
If you asked her on the date, it’s your job to do the planning. There’s nothing worse than her getting in your car and you saying, “so what do you want to do, where do you want to go, what do you want to eat?”. Now, you don’t have to go over the top, but you should have the evening planned from start to finish, otherwise things will get really awkward really quickly.

4. Making a big deal about who pays.
Most times guys will insist on paying. This is the gentlemanly thing to do, right? Well, some women aren’t into that. She may feel like she owes you something if you pay for dinner, or drinks, or the movie, or whatever. Pulling out your card/cash and making an elaborate gesture to show you’ve “got it”, may be a turn off for her. So, here’s the game plan. If she insists on going Dutch, go along with it. If she expects you to pay (and the date was your idea), go along with it. If you offer to pay and she refuses to let you, go along with it. Easy breezy.

5. Talking too much about an ex.
Cardinal rule #1...conversations about your ex (or ex’s) are off limit. Who cares why it didn’t work out. Who cares if she cheated on you, or was overbearing or didn’t want to have sex on a regular basis. In the end all you’re going to do is either bad mouth the ex, which will make her feel like you’ll bad mouth her if things don’t work out, or you’ll show that you’re still in love with the ex, which is a very bad thing in itself. And don’t ask her about her ex-boyfriends either, because the same rules apply.

6. Talking too much about yourself.
I get that you’re trying to make a good impression, but you should never focus all of the attention on you. Because guess what, we (women) will zone out and not hear a word you’ve said. Now we think you’re arrogant, self-centered, and conceited. Keep her engaged by asking questions and having her speak about herself. Women love to talk about themselves. Well let’s be honest, EVERYBODY likes to talk about themselves. But don’t dominate the conversation and you’ll make a much better impression.

7. Playing games.
NO NO NO! Stop it. This is the main reason why dating sucks. Fellas, women can tell when you’re trying to trick them into liking you, and that will make them like you less. Acting like you could care less if y’all kick it or not, when you know you really want to. Not calling or texting for a day or two to see if she’s going to do it. Not saying “hey I want to see you” because you’re waiting on her to say it. All of this is playing games that a grown woman does not and will not make time for. Best believe there’s someone waiting to take the spot she gave you. How you handle it will determine if you stay #1, or get deleted from her phone and a “who is this” when you finally decide to reach out.

8. Not being honest about your intentions.
Fellas look, the women of today aren’t like the women of 15yrs ago. In 2018 we are very open to you being honest about what you want. Don’t come to her pretending to be “that guy” that’s different from all the rest and wanna show her something new, when you know all you want to do is smash. All the BS about not ever having a woman that had your back, or never loved you the way you want to be loved, cut all that out. Don’t make her fall for you and then act all shocked and shady when she’s angry about your actions or you dating other women. Don’t say I love you when you really mean “yea I think you’re cool”. I know y’all might not want to hear this, but YOU can sometimes be the reason a woman acts out and do things you think makes her crazy. Be real about what it is and you can avoid a lot of the drama.

~Nikki J~

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