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With Nikki Jackson
Wednesday, May 25, 2016 9:58 AM

How Long Do You Wait ??

By: Nikki Jackson

When you're in a stable, committed, happy relationship, how long do you wait for marriage? Should there be a time frame on it? Say, if you've been together 5yrs, living together for 3, should you be on the road to marriage, or just "go with the flow and see what happens"? I was asked the other day this same scenario, and what would I do if I were in this situation. Honestly, it depends on where we are in the relationship. I'm not one to put a time frame on things or put pressure when not needed. If all is well and things are good, marriage will happen when it's suppose to happen. But I know a lot of women don't want to feel like they're "wasting their best years" on a man that may not be ready to be a husband. Because let's face it, he/she may be a great boyfriend/girlfriend, but that doesn't mean they'll make a great husband/wife. For men, I feel there's a lot of pressure when it comes to being a husband. For some it comes natural, for others, they struggle with the monogamy thing; and marrying is SUPPOSED to mean she's the one and only one until death do you part. That can be scary for a man that may feel like he's not sure he can do that.
There is no time frame on when marriage should happen. It could happen 6 months after meeting, to 10 years of being together. It's all about the couple and what they're ready for. I have a cousin that was with her boyfriend for over 20 years. Lived together and raised two boys, but they never married. We always wondered why, but he was such a big part of the family we didn't really think about why they didn't make it legal. They broke up about 8 years ago, and we we're shocked, to say the least. And guess what happened? He met and wifed up another chic two years later. So now my cousin's biggest question was, "was it me?" What was it about them as a couple that he never proposed? Never even gave marriage a thought? Always said he didn't want to marry, and yet he did. At the end of the day, he just didn't want to marry HER. Moral of the story is; if they want to marry you, they will. Why put unnecessary stress on yourself worrying about if you're good enough. So with that being said, you have one of three options; 1. Wait and let it take its course. 2. Give an ultimatum and pray they don't leave you when you do that. 3. End the relationship and move on. Either way, you won't be satisfied until you get that "I do". But do you really want it if it's forced?
~Nikki J~

*I speak from failure and experience*

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