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With Nikki Jackson
Tuesday, May 31, 2016 12:35 PM

When Do They Come Into The Relationship?

By: Nikki Jackson

He met her. He asked her out on a date the same the night. She accepted. Two days later he picked her up with his daughter in the car. Inappropriate behavior in my opinion. What was so important about going out with this woman that it couldn't wait until the next day, when he didn't have his daughter? This was a question I asked when this situation was brought to me for advice. His response; so am I not to have a life when I have my daughter? Uh, yea, pretty much. Women do it all the time. Let me rephrase; women that don't have their child (children) around every Kevin, Mark, and Michael, do it all the time. You do NOT bring someone around your child two days after meeting.
So when do you bring them into the relationship? Bottom line, when you know this relationship has the possibility to go into marriage. Now I don't mean your 25yr old son/daughter. Y'all know what I'm talking about. Kiddos under the age of 16 should be shielded from your "randoms". Unless you're serious about that person, they shouldn't know they exist.
But on the flip side, someone you just met shouldn't even WANT to meet your kids. For what? People we need to start being held accountable for some of the stupid things we do. If he/she has made plans with you but can't find a sitter, then suggest another day when they don't have their child. Easy peezy. No harm no foul. Don't feel bad because you aren't ready to be around their kids. Any single parent should know the rules of introduction. I understand some don't though. And that's not a good thing. We should be mindful of the people we're bringing into our kids lives. Little boys seeing women constantly coming and going with Dad may grow up to think that's just how men are (players), so that's how he should be. Little girls seeing men come and go with their mothers may think the only way to love themselves is if they have a man in their life, cuz that's what Mama did. Why should a young man be faithful when he wasn't taught it's the right thing to do. Why should a young lady not use sex as a way to easily get a man, when she wasn't taught not to. Children have watchful eyes and many say they learn from their parents. It all starts at home. Teach them that's it's a PRIVILEGE for someone you're dating to meet you, not a necessity. As my son used to say, "why introduce you to randoms when I know they won't be around." Words to live by parents...words to live by.
~Nikki J~

*I speak from failure and experience*

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