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Monday, March 27, 2017 2:59 PM

Reconnecting With An Ex

By: Nikki Jackson

We've all been there. Ran into an ex out somewhere, or received an unexpected text from an ex (or sent the text), and the next thing you know, you're reliving the past. I unfortunately found myself in the exact same situation some years ago. And what's funny is I KNEW with everything in me that I shouldn't, but listening to others, I did. And I be damned if not two weeks later, it was over...again. Always listen to your first instinct.
But it's so easy to fall back in line with an ex. They're familiar. You don't have to learn someone new. You know the good and the bad (not always a positive thing). And you don't have to let your "representative" speak for you. One thing about an ex is that they know you too. There's no impressing or pretending. But the downside to reconnecting is this: they may be the exact same person you walked away from once before. The things that made you leave, may still be present. Let's say you thought they had no drive, didn't want anything out of life other than what they had. You get back with them and realize absolutely nothing has changed except the year. Now what do you do? Stick it out, or leave again? It can become a very complicated situation.
Whenever I've thought about getting back with an ex, because of past experience, I always think about the bad things first. Simply because the good memories can cloud ones judgment. Focusing on what was bad (seeing as how that's probably the reason the relationship ended), can give you more clarity on why you SHOULDN'T get back with them. Because we all know the saying....THEY'RE AN EX FOR A REASON.

Here's a list of pros and cons to consider when thinking about reconnecting with the past....

1. It'll never be like it used to be. Some relationships simply can't withstand that moment when the magic ends. No need to go back and beat a dead horse.

2. They may hurt you again. Obviously, if someone hurt you, they could do the exact same thing again. So, on top of the pain, you'll feel stupid making the same mistake twice.

3. They'll think they can get away with anything. If you take someone back, they may think they can get away with treating you badly (since they may have the first time) and take advantage of you. You don't want to be that person, so think hard before you take that risk.

4. There's no room to grow. Meeting new people helps you grow, and you learn from each new relationship. Going back to the old relationship might stunt your growth as a person...and prevent you from meeting someone better.

5. It might be for the wrong reasons. When you have familiarity with someone, it's easy to fall back into bad habits and patterns. Getting back with an ex because you're lonely or tired of the dating scene is a big NO NO.

1. We all deserve a second chance. There's power in forgiveness. If you expect perfect behavior in your significant others, you'll be disappointed, and breaking up will become a very regular thing.

2. Losing you made them get their act together. The reality of losing someone causes some people to realize when they've lost a good thing. They do some soul-searching to figure out where they went wrong, why they did the things they did, and want to make the changes to do better the second time around.

3. You might regret not taking them back. Let's be honest, we've all had the one that got away, that we've wished things could have been different with. Sometimes it's worth taking the risk to take someone back, instead of wondering what could have been.

4. It could be better the second time around. Although a rare thing, sometimes a breakup helps you come back and be a better you. Both parties can grow while apart, making the second time around stronger than ever.

5. How can you NOT take them back. Usually, your heart is wrong and your head is right, but the heart will win every time. Sometimes it's impossible to say no, and that's ok. Just don't be surprised if it doesn't work out.
~Nikki J~
*I speak from failure and experience*

Catch me every Monday night from 8pm-10pm on The Benet Embry Show. Stream live through my website www.iammsnikki.com.
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