Wednesday, January 04, 2017 8:55 AM
Knowing When The Relationship Is ToxicBy: Nikki Jackson
How many of you have tried to salvage a relationship or friendship simply because you've had it for so long and think it's suppose to last forever? Guilty.
When you have something so toxic in your life, the only thing you can do is move on from it. We tend to think how we feel about someone is the same way they feel about us. We think that how we treat them, is the same treatment we deserve. We expect the same loyalty we give, to be given back. It's human nature to do so. And when you realize none of those things are true, it can disappointing. It's almost easier to end a relationship than a lifelong friendship, but sometimes these too must come to an end. A friend that's not supportive of anything you do, any relationship you've been in, any friend you've made besides them, is toxic. They want you all to themselves. That is not a healthy friendship. A friend that will talk about you to others with the intent of getting them to not like you, is toxic. No one needs that type of negative energy in their life, and I'm willing to bet plenty of us has had that one friend we knew we needed to get rid of, but didn't because of the so called "loyalty" we had to them. Eventually there comes a time when you realize the friend you are to them, they've never been to you. And so they are dismissed.
But how can you apply this to a relationship, to someone you love and you've built a life with? Well, same rules apply only you have to go about it differently. You can't just have an argument or disagreement as you would a friend, and stop speaking. No my dears, it's a little more complicated than that.
If you're in a relationship where there's constant arguing, abuse (verbally or physically), not speaking to each other, sleeping in separate rooms, and you've gotten to the point of finding every excuse you can to not be home, your relationship is toxic. I can't say that you should end it, but what I can say is you only live once. When you die, that's it. There's no do-overs, no coming back, no second chance to get it right. Why would ANYONE want to live this life with someone that does not have their best interest at heart and is not loving them to the best of their ability? Yes we all have ups and downs in relationships, friendships as well. But when there comes a time that there's more downs than ups, you have to reevaluate the situation and no matter how hard it's going to be, make the best decision for YOU. Because let me tell you, there will be a lot of sleepless nights, headaches, self-doubting, and putting down of yourself if you try and figure out why someone just can't be right. Whether it be a friend or a lover, not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever. Some are here for a season and a lesson. Learn from the lesson so you don't make the same mistake. A real friendship can't be destroyed no matter the circumstances, and a real love can't be tainted by the outside forces that constantly pull at it.
*I speak from failure and experience*
Catch me every Monday 8pm-10pm on The Benet Embry Show. Stream live through my website @ www.iammsnikki.com
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