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With Nikki Jackson
Wednesday, August 24, 2016 5:50 PM

Why Does Dating Have To Be So Hard ?

By: Nikki Jackson

The most common thing I hear among single people is....DATING TODAY SUCKS!!
I would have to agree. In this new age of texting (no phone calls) and social media, dating is definitely not what it used to be. There's no conversation when you meet someone out, because they don't actually approach you to talk. They hit you up on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or comment to a Snapchat and say "hey I saw you at such and such, you looked nice. We should talk." Hmmmm, and why couldn't we talk when you saw me? From what I've been told, men don't like rejection, especially if it's going to be done in front of his friends or yours. So they find it easier to get turned down through previously named outlets. Now the only reason I singled out men is because they are more apt to approach a woman than the woman approach them. But I feel (and this is just MY opinion) that that's a very lame excuse. If you see someone you're friends with on social media, and you want to talk to them, TALK TO THEM. It's not the end of the world if they aren't interested. Hell, you might find that behind all that booty and beauty, you're not as interested in her as you thought and then you're the one rejecting. Next!
Something else I always hear (and see) is how much someone is on their cell phone on a date. Now I'm not one to constantly be on my phone if I'm on a date, but I do keep it out at a hands reach. I can definitely see the annoyance at being with someone that's giving more thought to a device than to you. I dated a guy once that would do that, and at one point he was on his phone so much I almost told him he needed to go be with whoever he was texting, because clearly they had his attention more than I did. Just rude!
Another common problem...online dating. Wait, I mean FACEBOOK dating! Chances are if a woman meets someone that's been in her inbox constantly for the last couple of months, her inbox isn't the only one he's been in. Instagram DM is popular now that we have the song "it goes down in the dm", but I don't think nearly as busy as Facebook messenger.
I'm not saying this applies to all men, because it's very possible (rare but possible) that he came across her page through mutual friends, and he sent her message to chat. He may not really be on Facebook like that and just took a whim to see if a match could be made. It could happen. With that being said, we don't know who's genuine and who's hitting up every pretty chic he comes across waiting to see who'll take the bait. And let's not forget that we also have to wonder has he inboxed any of our friends. There was one dude a while back that hit up me and all of my girls, pretty much saying the same lame ass line about how he wanted to get to know and he's not really a "Facebook" kinda guy, so could we exchange numbers. Boy bye! Fellas let me hip you to something; when you show initial interest in a woman by sending her a message, IF she's interested, the first thing she does is ask her girls if you've contacted them. If even one says yes, the interest is gone. Because we know you've seen a picture or two with us together, and you're foul for hitting on friends.
Sex on a first date...should I or shouldn't I? This question will leave many women up in the air as to what to do when they really want to do him. Men don't care about sex on the first date because it's just sex. Nothing more nothing less. If it happens, cool. If it don't, that's cool too. But when the sexual chemistry is there for both parties, she's usually the one that's going to get looked at as "loose". He may think damn, I go it that quick, the next dude probably will too. And almost immediately she becomes the one he calls to hook up with, but not the one he'll let friends and family meet. Most men will say they don't or won't look at a woman differently if she gives it up the first night, but how can you not ? I know, we all make mistakes and sometimes shit just happens. If it's only about sex, then have at it. But ladies if you really like this dude and want to possibly be wifey, keep the legs closed until at least date number 4 and up. Fellas that doesn't mean 4 dates in one week so you can get the skins, you know what I meant lol. And if you really like her and want to see where it can go, show her the respect of not getting it on the first night.
Last but definitely not least...who pays for what. Why is this even an issue?? Back in the day, gentleman treated for dinner, or a movie, or drinks, or whatever. Now, it's "you get the movie I'll pay for dinner" type stuff. Or worse...DUTCH! LOL who goes dutch on an actual date? Friends hanging out, sure. Dating, it shouldn't even be an option. I have no issue with treating him or paying for this when he pays for that. But don't put me in the position to force me to do it. Let me offer.
Sadly, I don't see the dating world getting any better any time soon. If anything it'll get more and more complicated. And we'll find more and more people deciding to stay single instead of dealing with the nonsense and games.
~Nikki J~
**I speak from failure and experience**

Catch me every Monday 8pm-10pm on The Benet Embry Show. Stream live through my website @ www.iammsnikki.com
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