. . .Give your pain a voice
Pain, pain, go away come again another day. There was a song that said, 'how can I ease the pain, when I know it's coming back again.' It would be nice if we could just tell pain to go away. But, what do you do when the pain you feel inside locks itself up only to throw away the key, without any signs of escaping. Often times we don't express our thoughts, our feelings, neither our fears, because we are too busy trying to be liked by those who say and do what they want to say and do without any remorse as to how it makes you feel. They mosey along happy and content while you're burning inside with anger, bitterness, frustration, and resentment.
I remember this saying, 'that the one thing about a victim, is that they forget that they have rights.' You have the right not to remain silent. Holding your feelings in brings about what I call a quit storm. It's slowly stirring up, until one day it comes out in rage, in a heat wave of anger, only to destroy whom ever gets in its path, because now your headed for self-destruction, bringing up things that happened long time ago, never able to release the past. They are looking at you, like what are you talking about. Simply, because you are bringing up past issues that should have been dealt with then!
This is not the same relationship, or person, but they are reaping the benefits of you not stating your thoughts and feelings from years ago. If I may ask, are they really the problem, in this case? Just asking!
You are in a new place in your life with old feelings.
Many times we are so worried about if I say this they will leave me, or they are going to turn on me, so in return you keep saying things like, 'oh it's ok,' but in reality it's not ok. What we are doing is this:
Ok, I like you hurting my feelings.
Ok, I like it when you keep hitting me.
Ok, I like it when you cheat.
Ok, I like it when you call me out of my name.
Ok, I like you not helping to pay the bills.
Ok, I like us not putting a label on this so called (relationship)
Ok, I like it when you treat me like #%*#%*
Ok, please carry on, keep up the good work.
The bible says,
The fool folds his hands
And consumes his own flesh.
Better a handful with quietness
Than both hands full, together with toil and grasping
For the wind.
Ecclesiastes 4:5,6
I remember telling myself this once, if I have to go to war, to get some peace, then so be it. I am not talking about creating unnecessary drama. I am not talking about just keeping things going, just for the sake of it. What I am saying is that when people hurt you to give your pain a voice. Don't hold your feelings in to the point that it changes who you are. It's amazing how we go along to get along, instead of the possibility of being alone with some peace.
Who is Your Drug Dealer
How do you spell relief? How are you medicating your pain? Are you using drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping, the lottery, or food to ease the pain of your past or present situation? How far have you gone just to get a fix? Maybe you're sleeping with multiple people, because you just want to feel good. Maybe you're smoking marijuana just to not feel bad or think; maybe you're eating so that you don't have to feel the emptiness, or maybe just maybe your answer is in the bottom of that alcoholic beverage. What is it that lies beneath that causes the pain? Is that pain so intense that you are beginning to feel hopeless, helplessness, suicidal, or maybe even depression? What is your drug of choice? Maybe your drug dealer is the person you're with, looking for them to solve your problems. Maybe your drug dealer is that person that you are cheating on your spouse with. Look at you sneaking around, just to get a fix. Sneaking onto the computer to watch pornography, spending your bill money on those shoes, or on those prostitutes? In the strip clubs. Look at you? You are better than this!
Are You a Functioning Addict
It is possible to be in Corporate America, in the choir, a wife, a husband, a boyfriend, and or a girlfriend and still function as though all is well with you. Smile!!! For the Camera!!! Psychologist calls this woundology. Woundology is someone who is addicted to pain and suffering. So often times we define ourselves by our wounds. No wonder we sometimes cling to the familiar. We start to saying things like I am like this because of my pain. We organize our lives around the pain. We begin to think that our lives are doomed to stay this way. If anyone really knew what you were dealing with, then it would mess up your reputation. Heaven forbid, that you actually get yourself some help.
First Sign of Recovery
They say that the first sign of recovery is to first admit that you have a problem. This is where the healing begins. You don't have to admit it to anyone but God. He is the only One who can fix your situation. I know that the people around you said that they could but if that being the case then they would be considered 'god'. I love the fact that Jesus calls Himself our personal Savior. We can take our problems to Him before they become public. Before we sabotage our own success, allow Jesus to help you. How far has your pain taken you? You can recover from a bad decision. The bible says this, 'that a righteous man falls down seven times, but he rises back up again. God wants me to tell you that you can recover from this pain addiction. God wants you to know that He still loves you even while you are yet in your addiction. Lay your pain on the alter of prayer with God standing by your side telling you, that He is for you, and that He will never leave you nor forsake you. Will you come to Jesus while you have time, please turn it over to Him before you wreck yourself! Give your pain a voice.
Beautifully Speaking,
Sonya
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